Day Zero Project #22/#96 - Go camping on the beach/Go camping with friends

Q: _____ is to outdoors as oil is to water.

A: Dustin

I want to love camping, I really do. There's something about the idea that of being outside without modern conveniences that appeals to me. But, in reality, you are mostly just stuck in an tent in extremely hot weather while getting eaten alive by bugs and hoping that you don't step in some sort of poisonous plant that will ensure that your only lasting memory of your trip is a scar from where you were scratching your plethora of rashes.

That said, I have a list to accomplish and when my friends called saying that they just realized that there were no people without kids going on their annual Mother's Day camping trip and that we had to fill that quota so they'd have a well-rounded group, we couldn't say no.

At least this camping trip was at Fort Desoto, which is pretty much the ideal spot for any sort of camping adventure. Just make sure to book your campsite six months in advance or you'll be like us. Which means that the morning you want to go camping you will have to go stand in line at the Camp Office at 5am. Yes, 5am, a time that, until that day, I had no actual proof even existed. And we were 14th in line.

Eventually we got our site and set up what I considered to be a first-rate campsite:

Turns out this is not a first-rate campsite. Real campers bring tables and lights and bug spray. But we are not real campers and we brought tequila and whiskey and pudding shots and plenty of beer. We might not be comfortable but we can certainly drink until we think we are.

Our view of the Gulf of Mexico

One of the appeals of Florida is the chance to see things like manatees and dolphins. We didn't see any of that. But our campsite was home to Ricky the Redneck Raccoon who skipped right over our food and headed straight for our neighbors cooler full of High Life. No one can say that Ricky doesn't know how to party.

Ricky gets drunk and chills in the trees

There's also birds. Lots of them. Here's a little known fact about me: I hate birds. They are not to be trusted.

Look at him. He's evil.

But seriously, we had a great time. Because even if the tent is 100 degrees and raccoons steal our beer and we end up with some weird plant-induced rashes, the important part is the company that we keep. And I can't think of many better ways to spend a weekend than hanging out with friends.