Get a full body massage? Easy! I've had one of those before. As a matter of fact I've probably had 100s. I'm one of the lucky chosen few who has had a wife go through massage school. Her homework was to give massages and I was always there as a willing test subject.
Sure I had to sit through some weird, hippie stuff. I mostly just rolled my eyes as I became a test subject for energy work, healing crystals and sound therapy. And sure, there were times when she was learning deep tissue massage that she made me cry and I cursed whomever put it into her head to go into massage, but for the most part it was an experience that made me the most relaxed guy of all time.
So if you are wondering why I never seem to get angry, it's because I am still in a perpetual state of relaxedness that will continue until sometime in my 50s.
But last weekend, I cheated on my regular massage therapist and went to a spa. I don't think my wife minds because if there's one thing that a massage therapist doesn't want to do, it's to give free massages after working. Keep that in mind if you have a friend who's a massage therapist. No, they don't want to rub your sore shoulders. Maybe if you give them $65, but they don't ask you to do your job for free, so you shouldn't ask them.
Anyways, back on task. This new massage therapist was the strongest lady in the world. I'm talking gold medal winning strength that makes those super-big Eastern European body builders you see on the Olympics seem like little babies. I almost cried when she was working on my shoulders.
Which brings me to why I try to be nice to my wife 100% of the time. Massage therapists can kill you. Seriously, if you google that, it might be true. Thankfully they use their strength for the greater good of humanity.