Day Zero Project #26: Build a gingerbread house.

One would think that at some point during my 33 years on this planet I would have already built a gingerbread house. Perhaps as a child my family would have gathered around at Christmas and bonded over edible arts and crafts? Nope. There was a time when me and my wife decided we needed to invent traditions and one of them was going to be building a gingerbread house on my birthday (mid-December). We never even got around to do that once.

But, alas, this task showed up on my list of tasks to accomplish so a I purchased a gingerbread house kit in 2012 and proceeded to let it sit on my shelf for 13 months or so until this past week when I opened it up and decided to finally get it done.

In my head I had visions of making the most awesome gingerbread house of all time. It was going to make the ones on the box look like amateur hour. But here's the thing that no one tells you: making a gingerbread house is hard. Really hard. I don't know how to decorate at all. I don't even know how to line up the gingerbread so I have a house that is straight. But that's ok, I finally finished this after at least 10 years of talking about making one.

Gingerbread design is messy.

And I'm glad that we never decided to go through with our planned tradition because now that I've made one gingerbread house I can honestly say that I never want to do it again!

My house, complete with gingerbread cornhole set.

Day Zero Project #60: Write a list of guidelines to live by.

"Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something" - Thomas Edison

And that quote right there says why I shouldn't even be writing this list at all. I'm not entirely sure that a person should have a set of guidelines that they live by. I think each of us should do the things that make us, and the ones around us, the most happy. What works for me, might not work for you.

But, alas, it's on my list and I should do it. So here goes...

Spend way more time reading books than watching TV. But do watch some TV. Otherwise you sound like a weird hippie, hermit who is out of touch with pop culture when you are sitting around with your friends and have no clue what anyone is talking about.

Listen to music every day. And spend some time in silence, too.

Be a good person. But be bad, too. Because sometimes being bad is just more fun. Obviously don't hurt anyone or anything. I mean it more in the sense of stay out way too late with friends drinking delicious craft beers. Or spending just a little bit more than you should on vacation. Or cheating at Monopoly in order to finish the game quicker because Monopoly takes too long and is the worst game ever invented.

Treat others how you want to be treated. Just be nice to everyone.

Hang out with friends and family as much as possible. Leaving just a little bit o' time to spend on your own, too. A little bit of alone time is a good thing. A lot of alone time makes you crazy.

Never, ever, ever sleep in a separate bed than your partner if you are both in the same house. On a business trip without my wife, fine. But just because you are upset with someone, or they snore loudly, is no reason to not be in there. Also, do not have a TV in your bedroom. Someone's quote is better than mine here: "The experts agree you should only be doing two things in your bedroom: sleeping and having sex. Bills, kids, computers, TVs ... they're all kryptonite for healthy sleep and definitely for your sex life."

Along the same lines of "Married Couple Advice": Never, ever, ever go to the bathroom in front of your partner. It's weird. Seriously. I've been with my wife for 15 years and I have never once seen her go to the bathroom. I can't 100% confirm that she even does and that's okay with me.

Get outside your comfort zone from time-to-time. That's why I even do these lists. Growing up can get a bit lame. Work, go home, eat dinner, watch some TV, sleep, repeat. That's not ideal, so go ahead and mix it up a bit!

Whatever you are into, be into it. Let's say you collect stamps. That's pretty dorky in my books, but who cares!? You like stamps, be the best darn stamp collector you can be.

Support your community. The world has enough Olive Garden's and Outback's. We both know that their food there is average at best. Go eat at a local restaurant. They'll appreciate it. The food is about 90% sure to be better. Go shop at your farmer's market. Go buy a shirt at your neighborhood boutique so that you don't have the same shirt as 800,000 other people who went to Target that week. I once went a whole year without eating at a chain restaurant. Surely every one else can skip it once a week!

And mostly, Just do whatever it is that makes you happy. It's a cliche to say it, but life is too short to do anything different. Unless you believe in Heaven, then you can be happy forever, I guess. But it's a different kind of happy up there because they don't have ice cream. So, be happy while you are here, and definitely eat as much ice cream as you can.

Day Zero Project #88: Find a poem that means something to me.

I don't like poetry. No offense, poetry. You're just not my style. I love reading but never once have I thought to myself, "Hey, I'd like to read a whole book of poetry tonight."

Perhaps I haven't given poetry a fair try. But I'm old and set in my ways now, so the days of learning to like poetry are most likely far behind me.

Due to my indifference towards the genre, I don't think that there is a poem that means something to me. And rather than just pick something randomly that sounds cool, I went with the next best thing: song lyrics that I love. After all, song lyrics could be considered a form of poetry, right?

And rather than just pick one. I did three. Because I'm multi-faceted. I have "Nerdy" by Poison the Well, which is me and my wife's song. I have "Rise Up, Rise Up" by Cursive, because that song (the whole album really) is exactly what it's like growing up in Nebraska. And, finally, I have "I See Everything" by La Dispute, because it's an important song and it makes me cry.

Poison The Well "Nerdy"

Why do your eyes paralyze me?
What makes me feel this way?
Carry me away with silence and heartbeats as rapid

Thinking about your embrace
And how it makes me feel
I just want to feel this way forever

Sleep on portraits painted as perfect as you
Why have I been given chance to fly?
When I'm not with you I feel lesser alone?
Why have I been given chance to fly, away?

I remember your face imprinted on angels
Your voice as beautiful as the sounds of waves
Crashing against my heart

Time slows down when you look at me
I'm infatuated with this, infatuated with you
I remember your face imprinted on angels

It's so hard for me to understand
Why I hadn't found you before?
Hold my hand

 

Cursive "Rise Up, Rise Up"

Dear preacher, thanks for making time for me today
Hope you don't mind if I hide behind the curtain
It's been fifteen years since my last confession
By your good book's standards, I've sinned like a champion
But that book seems a tad bit out-dated

Please forgive me, for questioning divinity
It's an ugly job, but I think I'm up for it
I'm not saying who's right
I'm just saying there's more than one way
To skin a religion
There's more than one way
To explain our existence

Reverend, sir, I don't want to seem malevolent
My teenage angst is far behind me
But father, certainly it's troubling to see
All these people kneeling, instead of dealing
With the fact that we are all we have

So, rise up! rise up!
There's no one to worship!
But plenty of life to lose!
I'm not saying "let's burn down the church"
But do you want to hear my confession?
It's my greatest sin..

Okay, here it is:
I wasted half my life on the thought that I'd live forever!
I wasn't raised, to seize the day, but to work and worship
'cause "he that liveth and believeth" supposedly never dies

Rise up! rise up!
And live a full life!
'cause when it's over, it's done
So rise up! rise up!
Dance and scream and love!

 

La Dispute "I See Everything"

Like any morning of my junior year I stumble in the classroom late but this day I see
Faces, I feel an air like a funeral, like a wake, as I sit down.
My teacher speaking, somewhat somberly, but still confident and calm.
Part eulogy, her speech, and part poem, part celebration song.
Her warmth and smile, she passes photocopies out to us of entries from a journal
Kept so long ago. She starts to read and suddenly it’s 1980.

March 5-The cancer is furious but our son is resilient,
we have all the faith we’ll get through this no matter what the end.
Treatments are violent but he keeps on smiling.
It’s amazing finding joy in the little things.

April 12-Andrew’s appetites improved and we thank God everyday.
But still it’s hard sometimes to see him in that scarecrow frame.

July 9-There’s a suffering when I look in his eyes. He’s been through so much.
We’ve all been through so much but what incredible resolve our little boy shows,
only 7, standing face to face with death.
He said it’s easy to find people who have suffered worse than him.
“Like Jesus, suffered worse than anyone,” he told me last night, “when God abandoned him.”

September 20-We’ve been playing in the yard lately and spirits are high
although his blood counts aren’t.

October 14-He feels tired all the time.

November 30-At the hospital again. It feels like home when we’re here.

December 8-He’s getting worse.

January 19-We buried our son today, our youngest child,
and while his death was ugly we must not let it scare us from God.
Abundant grace has restored him. A brand new body.
And set him free from the torture, finally rid of the cancer.
Before the moment he left he briefly wrested from death, suddenly opened his eyes, said,
“I SEE EVERYTHING. I SEE EVERYTHING.”

And I will never forget it, the peace and the comfort you displayed through a pain
that I can only imagine. The loss of a child to the torture of cancer. Help me.
Because I can only imagine how you recovered,
kept your faith and held the brightness of life inside the smile of a child you had to bury.
And I will never forget him or your steadfast faith.
No, I will never forget you. Now six or seven years later, I’m devoid of all faith.
I am empty of comfort and I am weary of waiting.
Though I’ve felt nowhere what you have, I see nothing at all.
Though I’ve felt nowhere what he did, my eyes are closed. 

Day Zero Project #62: Try a new vegetable.

Back in college when everyone goes through a hippie, "Damn the Man!" phase I became vegan, even though the amount of vegetables I ate in my entire life up to that point consisted of corn, potatoes and maybe a little bit of lettuce as long as it was mixed with other stuff so I didn't have to taste it.

Not to be deterred (and generally pig-headed in barreling towards goals that make no sense at all), I purchased the cookbook "Vegan Cooking For One" and set about learning to like vegetables by, naturally, eating only recipes in this book for a whole year.

The book that started it all!

After that year, I said to myself, "That was easy and delicious." and proceeded to be vegan up until just a few years ago when I started working fish and dairy back in my diet.

So, needless to say, trying to find a vegetable that I haven't tried before has proved slightly more difficult that I'd imagined. Every week I would get my vegetable delivery from the awesome Tampa Bay Organics and there would be no veggie I haven't seen before. Stop by Publix, same deal. Stop by the Farmer's Market, same deal. But finally, my box of veggies last week had a new squash I haven't tried before: the Delicata Squash.

It looks like this when raw:

 Then it looks like this:

 
And finally, it looks like this when cooked and stuffed with a quinoa stuffing:

And it's delicious.

And because wasting food is not a good idea, I went ahead and roasted the seeds too. They'll make a good snack and added a nice roasted/smoky flavor to the stuffing.

I also get bonus points for getting confused and thinking I needed to "Try a new fruit," which lead me to eat this weird thing:

And please don't judge the rambutan by it's cover. He's not much to look at, but he's delicious.

Day Zero Project #79: Play a Game of Racquetball

I have a motto that I like to spout off from time to time that is "It's not fun, unless you can die doing it." Do I really believe that? No. I'm having fun typing this right now and I'd like to think that my chance of dying while sitting at my keyboard is minimal. That's just not the way I want to go out.

But this motto does help explain some of the fun (stupid?) things that I do on a regular basis such as cliff diving without knowing how to swim, walking through the darkest parts of the ghetto at 2am, parallel parking or antagonizing my wife after she's repeatedly warned me that she's about to switch from her normal quiet mode into full-on ninja.

And so when I was shipped off to a Corporate Leadership Class I was doubtful that I would have much opportunity to do anything approaching dangerous. Except for public speaking. I'm pretty sure that's been known to cause a few serious health problems.

But on the second day of class I walked deep into the bowels of the Corporate HQ, past the dining hall, down four flights of stairs until I came across a tiny room. And the concept of this room is that people lock themselves in it and proceed to hit a tiny blue rubber ball at what must be about 1,000 miles per hour at each others faces. Now we are talking something a bit more my speed!

I didn't know anyone who plays racquetball? No problem. I just head upstairs and grab a couple of people with promises of the most awesome game of all time.

We don't have any gym clothes? No problem. Racquetball is meant to be played by people in khakis and polos who are running around with just their socks on.

Worried that since we are at a Corporate Class that there should be some sort of business purpose? No problem. I can think of no better way of team building that running around trying to hit co-workers with a ball that will likely leave a welt that will last for weeks.

And so it was that I found myself immersed in an ultra-business complex running around a glass box with two peers all in our business clothes having one of the more fun times that I would have all week.

It was like this...

...except we all were dressed like this.

Day Zero Project #81: Get rid of 50 things.

"Things were nothing"

- Paul Monette, "Borrowed Time"

If you have ever given me anything then there's a good chance that I've either sold it on eBay or donated it to Goodwill. I'll apologize for that now, I really did like the gift.

The problem is I have an aversion to having stuff in my home. If it wasn't for my wife I'd most likely not even have 50 things to get rid of. As is, I already go through the house at least once a year and touch almost everything we own asking "Do we really need this?"

If not, it goes into one of three piles: a donate pile, a sell pile or the trash pile. It's an effective process, really. Our current place doesn't have tons of storage but that's no big deal. Every year I manage to raise a few hundred bucks and we take a mini-vacation. It's a win-win.

That is until you need to get rid of 50 more things because the goal popped up on a list. I wasn't sure if I even had that many items to get rid of, but after some serious Spring cleaning, we managed to get rid of more than the required amount.

In the spirit of TMI, here's the stuff we got rid of. If you bought me something on this list, I loved it, I used it and now it's gone on to a new home that will appreciate it. They won't appreciate it as much as I did, but they'll love it, nonetheless. Unless you gave me Monopoly. That's a wasted gift.

1) Postcards from PostCrossing goal (recycled)
2) FujiFilm FinePix F480 Digital Camera (eBay)
3) 1st Place Trophy - not engraved (donated)
4) Casio fx-300MS Scientific Calculator (eBay)
5) Robe (Women's) (garbage)
6) Hot Stone Massage Set (Craigslist)
7) Beach Umbrella (donated)
8) Deck of collectable playing cards (eBay)
9) Fear Before hoodie (eBay)
10) 4-Track Recorder (eBay)
11) Chez Goth game (eBay)
12) Chez Guevara game (eBay)
13) Chez Cthulhu game (eBay)
14) Wedding Crashers DVD (donated)
15) Spices and Herbs book (eBay)
16) 1 Lot of magazines (eBay)
17) 3 DVDs (eBay)
18) Pier One Picture Frames (eBay)
19) Another Pier One Picture Frame (eBay)
20) Massage Chair (Craigslist)
21) Tiki Torches (garbage)
22) Nintendo Gamecube (eBay)
23) Gamecube Games x 5 (eBay)
24) Massage Oils/Lotions (garbage)
25) Massage Study Book (recycle)
26) Dress x 4 (donate)
27) Women's shirt x 7 (donate)
28) Duffle bag (donate)
29) Jeckyl and Hyde Mystery Rummy game (eBay)
30) Rolling Stone 500 Greatest Albums of All Time special collector's issue (donate)
31) Suit Jacket (donate)
32) Yet Another Suit Jacket (donate)
33) Boxers x 2 (garbage)
34) Jack The Ripper Mystery Rummy game (eBay)
35) Progressive Bass Guitar instruction book (donated)
36) Small beer glasses x 2 (donated)
37) A whole bunch of papers from my desk (recycled)
38) Christmas lights (donated)
39) Christmas ornaments x2 (donated)
40) Heart baking pan (donated)
41) Magic The Gathering cards (eBay)
42) Woman's clothes x 5 (garbage)
43) Wonderland board game (eBay)
44) Destiny Wasjig? puzzle (eBay)
45) Yoga DVD set (eBay)
46) Workout shorts (donate)
47) Woman's sweater (donate)
48) skirt (donate)
49) scarf (donate)
50) scrub pants (donate)
51) shorts x 2 (donate)
52) men's jeans (garbage)
53) men's shirt x 2 (garbage)
54) Woman's boots (garbage)

Day Zero Project #98: Learn how to make a paper crane.

This is a story; a story of paper cranes and friendship. I call it "Shuffleboarding with Jesus." If that sounds vaguely familiar, then kudos to you and your intimate knowledge of Kurt Vonnegut stories.

"In Heaven, shuffleboard is everything" 

                                                                 - Kurt Vonnegut "Happy Birthday, Wanda June"

In the story, everyone plays shuffleboard together. Jesus, scientists, atheists, billionaires, vegans, you name it. I'd like to think that life is best lived like that shuffleboard court in Heaven, surrounded by all sorts of people who are not the same as you, but make life a little bit more fun and interesting.

I happen to think of myself as a middle-class, near vegetarian metalhead atheist with a weak spot for kittens, Elton John and all things fried. And if I filled my time with others who are exactly as myself, where is the opportunity for growth? Where is the chance to learn a little bit more about the world?And, honestly, there are just not many people that I've met who meet that description...

And it was with this attitude that I found myself at a church group shuffleboard night at St. Pete Shuffle. Church groups are about as far from myself as you can get, but you know what? The night was great. Of course it was, there was shuffleboard. And I won.

And if I would have told myself that I'd rather not spend the night with people who don't share the same beliefs as I do then I wouldn't have found myself eating cheese pizza at midnight in a bar being taught how to make paper cranes.

If only Church would have been that cool growing up...

Mine's the one that barely looks like a crane on the left.

Day Zero Project #22/#96 - Go camping on the beach/Go camping with friends

Q: _____ is to outdoors as oil is to water.

A: Dustin

I want to love camping, I really do. There's something about the idea that of being outside without modern conveniences that appeals to me. But, in reality, you are mostly just stuck in an tent in extremely hot weather while getting eaten alive by bugs and hoping that you don't step in some sort of poisonous plant that will ensure that your only lasting memory of your trip is a scar from where you were scratching your plethora of rashes.

That said, I have a list to accomplish and when my friends called saying that they just realized that there were no people without kids going on their annual Mother's Day camping trip and that we had to fill that quota so they'd have a well-rounded group, we couldn't say no.

At least this camping trip was at Fort Desoto, which is pretty much the ideal spot for any sort of camping adventure. Just make sure to book your campsite six months in advance or you'll be like us. Which means that the morning you want to go camping you will have to go stand in line at the Camp Office at 5am. Yes, 5am, a time that, until that day, I had no actual proof even existed. And we were 14th in line.

Eventually we got our site and set up what I considered to be a first-rate campsite:

Turns out this is not a first-rate campsite. Real campers bring tables and lights and bug spray. But we are not real campers and we brought tequila and whiskey and pudding shots and plenty of beer. We might not be comfortable but we can certainly drink until we think we are.

Our view of the Gulf of Mexico

One of the appeals of Florida is the chance to see things like manatees and dolphins. We didn't see any of that. But our campsite was home to Ricky the Redneck Raccoon who skipped right over our food and headed straight for our neighbors cooler full of High Life. No one can say that Ricky doesn't know how to party.

Ricky gets drunk and chills in the trees

There's also birds. Lots of them. Here's a little known fact about me: I hate birds. They are not to be trusted.

Look at him. He's evil.

But seriously, we had a great time. Because even if the tent is 100 degrees and raccoons steal our beer and we end up with some weird plant-induced rashes, the important part is the company that we keep. And I can't think of many better ways to spend a weekend than hanging out with friends.

Day Zero Project #78: Ask 5 friends to suggest one book, and read them all.

Whew, it's been a little while since I've been on here and I suppose it's time to kick it up a notch if I'm going to finish my list on time. The good news is that I haven't been entirely idle during this break from my regularly scheduled posts. I have managed to read a few books that my friends suggested.

I don't know if it is more surprising that I have friends who read or that they suggested some good books, but I was thankful for the chance to read some things outside my general norm (Top 100 book lists and Hubert Selby Jr novels).

I don't fee like typing today so here's a quick review of what was suggested, who suggested it and a thought or two on the book.

1. 11/22/63 by Stephen King - suggested by Vicky.

I have my own mom (who is always referred to as Madre). I have my Aunt Cheryl, whom we can also call Mom #2a. And then there's Vicky, my friend's Mom who I probably saw more of than either of the other two due to the fact that I was at her house so much I had my own bedroom there. We can call her Mom #2b. She's a librarian so I expected her to suggest something a bit more obscure, but in my book snobbery I tend to overlook popular authors and that's a shame. Stephen King is a great author and this is another in a long line of good books. The main problem was that it was something like 900 pages and I think it probably could have benefited from being a little shorter.

2. 50 Shades of Grey by E. L. James - suggested by Kelly.

Kelly is a friend. She watches Bad Girls Club. I'm not 100% sure what that is, but if it's anything like this book, it's horrible. Seriously, why did 50 bazillion people think this was good? The grammar and writing style was atrocious. I guess including one or two sex scenes is all it takes to be good.

3. The Glass Castle by Jeannette Wells - suggested by Annie.

Annie is my wife's cousin. I don't know her very well, but judging by her Christmas letters she's actually a little bit more interesting than me and my wife, which is very difficult! This book, also interesting, was hampered by the fact that I feel like 50% of everything someone writes in a memoir is B.S. "I remember being three years old, staring at the skies and being amazed at the wide open dessert" No you don't. People don't remember being three that vividly. Or maybe they do and my memory is just horrible since I can just vaguely recall something about G. I. Joes.

4. Anthem by Ayn Rand - suggested by Traci.

I met Traci on vacation and she was interesting enough for me to take her advice and read this book. It was good, maybe even great. I'm not happy that I liked it because Ayn Rand fans tend to be more fanatical than a die-hard Philadelphia sports fans with the exception that Rand like guns even more.

5. Long Time Gone by David Crosby - suggested by Jerry

Jerry is my uncle and studying to be a DJ. That's probably cooler than whatever you are doing right now. This book was probably my favorite of the five. I already like biographies of musicians, so this is right up my alley. And who knew wholesome looking, sweet voiced David Crosby was that crazy. The guy constantly lived with at least two girls and took more drugs than Ozzy Osbourne. Amazing stuff.

Day Zero Project #30: Take my parents out to dinner.

You know that saying "Sometimes the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"? Sometimes I think that someone took this particular apple and flung it as far from the tree as they could. The apple bounced around a little bit, took some detours and finally ended up in Florida.

The saying has to do with how kids turn out to be like their parents and more times than not it turns out to be true. How often do we find ourselves thinking that we just did something that is "just like our Mother?" My wife is a shining example of someone who seems to do something every day that is exactly like something her parents did while we were growing up.

But myself? Sometimes I feel like I forgot to pick up all of those habits from my Madre. I don't know if it was splitting my childhood years between two parents that caused this or if is simply the fact that I never did spend much time at home, but a recent visit home just drove the point home even more.

Before I continue, don't be misled. Just because I am unlike my Madre does not mean that I do not like my Madre. As a matter of fact, I don't think that anyone could ask for a better Mother. In a nutshell, she's pretty much the best. No offense to your mother, but mine is better.

Back to the topic onhand. Here's a little table to highlight our differences:

HOME
Madre: Iowa. Always.
Myself: Left Iowa as soon as legally allowed.

HOBBIES
Madre: Video games. And lots of them.
Myself: I do not remember the last time I played video games. When I was a kid, I didn't get to play the Playstation because Madre was playing Final Fantasy. To this day, I find a weird enjoyment in watching people play video games. It's the only sort of TV that I enjoy. Speaking of...

TV
Madre: American Idol. All Dancing reality shows and something called Catfish that she got me temporarily hooked on during this particular visit.
Myself: I do not own a TV. Outside of Catfish, I can't recall the last show I watched.

And finally, and in a way that relates to my Day Zero List.

RESTAURANTS
Madre: I said let's go somewhere awesome, and she said Applebees. It's her favorite.
Myself: I really try not to eat at chains. I'll admit it, I'm a bit of a snob about it. It's a problem I need to work on.

That said, on this particular night, Applebee's was my favorite restaurant, too. Because it doesn't have anything to do with the food, or who owns the corporation or where the tax dollars are going. It's about who you spend your time with. And on this night, in an increasingly rare instance, I was able to sit down and have dinner with my Madre.It was probably the first time in years that just the two of us hung out.

And just in case she got the idea that the apple was rolling back closer to the tree, I made sure to order a beer knowing full well that she's not a drinker. But, like a good sport, she ordered the the menu item with the most meat knowing full well that I don't eat it.

P.S. There are no pictures of this historic dinner, because I do not believe in ruining my first dinner in two years with my Mom in order to get out my cellphone and snap a picture. I'm old-fashioned like that.

Day Zero Project #3: Buy a new suit

I headed to Men's Wearhouse on a mission. I wanted to buy a new suit. And since I will rarely wear the thing, I needed it to be a style that would work for weddings or job interviews or trips to the bar where I want to wear a jacket to fit in with rich dudes sippin' on Scotch.

And I need all of that at less than $300.

I relayed all of this to the salesman and he said, "No problem, sir" and proceeded to tell me the color I would need (charcoal) and then took my measurements before saying, "I've got just the thing for you."

He grabbed a jacket off the rack and helped me into it. "How's that?" he asked.

I turn to the mirror and then to my wife, then back to the mirror. And I'll be damned if that jacket didn't magically transform me into someone as suave looking as James Bond. Who knew a simple article of clothing could make that big of a difference?

"I love it," I told him. Even better, I'd already told him my price range so I knew I would be able to afford this image-transforming piece of fabric.

"Great, and at only $550, it's a steal," he replied.

ERRRR. Slam on the brakes. $550? Sneaky move Salesman Guy. He put me in something he knew I'd love and then tried to upsell me.

Well, I showed him. I took his color recommendation and his measurements and went to the mall where everything I tried on paled in comparison to the $550 jacket. The salesman had managed to ruin every other suit that existed by showing me one I can't afford.

Eventually, I found something at Macy's that worked. Not quite James Bond, but for the amount of times I'll wear it, it will work just fine.

It was later that I learned that you don't button two buttons!

Day Zero Project #87: Take Part in a Pub Quiz

We did this months ago so the memory is a bit hazy, but if I recall correctly there was a random Tuesday were we thought it might be fun to not sit around the house doing nothing. We knew that our local World of Beer had a trivia night, so we got ourselves off the couch and walked over to accomplish #87: Take Part in a Pub Quiz.

We signed up, were handed our pencil and paper and then proceeded to order delicious beers and get our butt's kicked at trivia. There's a few lessons here. 1) Contrary to popular belief, alcohol DOES NOT make you smarter. 2) Trivia is better with a big team. We don't own a TV, so every time they asked a TV question we knew we were out of luck. Winning pub trivia requires a well-balanced team of drinkers, tv/movie watchers and people who are way too into sports. If you can get that, you have hit the Pub Trivia jackpot.

But, like a trooper, we toughed it out and managed to get 2nd to last by overbidding our final points in an attempt to get first. I wish I remembered the final question so I could post it for you, but it was way too long ago.

Thank you trivia for making me feel guilty about having a lack of knowledge about everything pop culture...

Two of my favorite things: beer and pointless knowledge.